With no lucrative BCS bowl for Jamerson National Bank to count on this season, the Virginia Tech football team was forecast to play in the Gator Bowl. But a least reliable source for The New Yokel has learned the Hokies have already accepted an offer to play the University of Phoenix in the Online Bowl, somewhere online.
The University of Phoenix players live scattered across the country and the team has never practiced together, however they are undefeated in fantasy football.
The strictly online school has no proud traditions or marching bands, no cheerleader squad, nor any boozy, tailgating alumni, but with so many bowls out there, who is really going to notice?
Coach Beamer looked forward to playing the Flaming Birds, though he admitted there is no game film on the team and he hasn’t a clue as to what their coach’s name is.
“I guess we’ll use Beamerball.com on them. That’s the only online stuff I know,” said the coach from his Jamerson office.
“Hey, I was pretty good at electric football as a kid,” added defensive coordinator, Bud Foster.
Meanwhile, Hokie fans will be Christmas shopping or playing electric football.