Just in time for Christmas, and defying all biology, Virginia Tech's Dairy Science researchers and the university's BioInformatics scientists have collaborated to ferment beer in cow stomachs.
“Our merry beer cows seem to be quite happy," said cow udder instructor Andy Wilson, while supervising dairy students squeezing pails of foaming beer from the "pink kegs." Wilson, his cap tilted to one side and his beefy arms tucked into his overalls, chuckled at the sight of so many pails of beer. "This is like dairy school heaven, eh? Of course, I have to watch my student elves pretty near 'round the clock as they're always sneaking squirts of our uddernogg. And, y'know, tipsy milk maids is not what the school wants to see on the local news."
[But it is what the local news wants to see, Andy. Really, they want to see that. They'll pay you.]
Stephanie Mills, a second-year Dairy Science major from Harrisonburg, was all business as she worked the taps of "Pabby," a favorite cow whose milk reminds the students of Pabst Blue Ribbon. "Her flavor is a bit on the grassy side, with a hint of corn,” said the maid with the suspicious-looking foam mustache.
Wilson added the only negative has been the mewing barn cats who get sloshed on the pail dregs. "It's been good times for the mice though," said Wilson. "The stumbling cats can't catch their own tails."