Homer Simpson, on a celebrity tour of America's doughnut establishments, parked his sweet pink glazed car outside CAROL LEE CAKES on Thursday and let out a big "Woo-hoo!"
"This town is just like Springfield, only less cartoony,” said the yellow-tinted man with the most beloved bulging eyes and belly in America.
Simpson quickly downed three doughnuts, a blueberry (“This one reminds me of my lovely what’s-her-name's hair.”); a coconut, a powdered, and of course a jelly-filled selection. The town seemed sprinkled with excitement as locals began text-messaging and tweeting each other about Homer’s appearance at the North Main Street location across from Food Lion. Happy hordes of Homer fans quickly crowded the small parking lot.
“My fans are the best, because like me, they have nothing better to do than watch cartoons,” said Simpson, while accepting one doughnut for each autograph. With his car's trunk full, Simpson waved good-bye to Blacksburg, already anticipating his next sugary stop in West Virginia.
"West Virginia..." mused Simpson, buckling up and thinking really hard in a cartoon balloon, "...wild and wonderful deer crossing dangerous mountain roads."