The impressive new Blacksburg Market Square and Farmers’ Market off Draper Road had its grand opening Saturday.
The site immediately attracted the attention of UFC mixed martial arts promoter Foghorn Egghorn, a rooster who plans to sponsor a real birdcage fight under the timber frames on a future Saturday.
“Feathers will fly!” boomed Egghorn, stating the obvious chicken cliché.
“This will be a totally organic, controlled cage fight, staged in an egg-shaped, eggtagon cage,” added the big-breasted, fancy-tailed promoter who owns Chanticleer Productions, a pay-per-view fight network. (Egghorn appeared unruffled by local vendors clearly eyeing him for their own egg-laying devices.)
The main card will feature none other than Virginia Tech’s Hokie Bird versus UFC cartoon champ, Tweety Bird.
Tweety, or “Tweebee,” as he is known to his barnyard homies, already has the promotional yokehold on his maroon rival, taunting the bigger bird on ESPN commercials: “I taut I taw a scartee bird? I did, I did tee a scartee bird!”